


I Hate You. I Love You

by hvrricancs



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 04:31:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20168200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hvrricancs/pseuds/hvrricancs
Summary: Maddy knows how bad Nate is for her, but somehow she can't ignore him when he calls her.





	I Hate You. I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> This relationship is extremely toxic, and I am fully aware they are terrible for each other. I wanted to write something short based on that.

After everything Nate went through with Maddy at prom and his break down with his dad, he needed Maddy. He always needed her even though he didn't deserve her. He loved Maddy despite what he told her and the things he did. It didn't take long for Maddy to show up at the hotel room he had rented for the two of them. She knocked on the door several times before he stood up from the bed and walked to the door. Opening the door, he stared at a nervous Maddy, and he hated that she was always nervous around him lately. Since he choked her, she had been nervous and a little more hesitant around him. "Hey," Nate told her. 

At prom, she told him that the two of them shouldn't be together and a few other things that he tried to block out because she was right. They weren't good for each other, and he was always hurting her. Everything she said was right, and he knew. He didn't want them to be true, but they were. Nate was selfish though, and he wanted her despite the things he's done. 

He stepped to the side to let Maddy in, and closed the door behind her. "What do you want, Nate?"

"I wanted to see you."

Maddy rolled her eyes and turned to face him. "Is this about the pictures on your phone? I told you it was okay. I'm not going to tell anyone if you like guys. Like I said, it's a spectrum. I've only fucked guys, but I've found a few girls hot. It's not a huge thing like you make it out to be, Nate."

Anger instantly raised inside of Nate, his eyes narrowing in on her. He hated that she kept bringing this shit up. What was the point? If he happened to be into guys, it wasn't her business or anyone for that fucking matter. "Maddy, shut the fuck up!"

"I'm not judging you. I'll be supportive... I love you. No matter what and no matter who you like..."

The anger inside of Nate kept rising till he reached for her arm, pulled her to him roughly. He took a tight grip of her throat and pushed her back against the bed, climbing on top of her. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! Stop with this fucking gay bullshit. I don't like guys, and I don't fucking care what you think. If you're into girls, I don't care. I'm not into guys, so stop fucking saying it!"

Maddy could barely speak as his hand was wrapped tight around her neck. "N-Nate..." Maddy choked out, her hands grabbing a hold of his wrists, trying to pull his hands off her neck. "I-I c-can't... b-breathe..."

At her words, he instantly let go and took steps back away from her. "Fuck!" Nate shouted, placing his hands on top of his head. The anger he felt was rushing through his body, and he didn't know how to get rid of it. "Why do you always do this?!" Nate shouted at her as he paced back and forth across the room. "You always have to open your fucking mouth! You never know how to shut the fuck up!"

Tears burned through Maddy's eyes, but she didn't want to cry or give him the satisfaction if that's why he was doing it. She honestly didn't know anymore. Did he do this on purpose? Was it really her fault? She didn't know anymore. It wasn't always like this. Sure, he had anger problems, but he didn't always hurt her physically. He could hurt her emotionally, but it wasn't until recently that he'd started becoming physically violent. She looked down and took a deep breath, her eyes not able to look up at him. "Do you really love me? Or do you just say it because you want me around?"

Nate rolled his eyes and scoffed, looking over at her. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"Do you _really_ love me? Because I think if you really loved me, you wouldn't put your hand on my throat to the point I can barely breathe. If you had squeezed any harder and any longer, there's a chance I could have died. Do you want to kill me?" There were tears slowly starting to run down her cheeks. "It sometimes feels like you don't care about me... and I really don't think you do. I don't know if you know what love is."

Nate stared at her for a long moment before slowly approaching her and reaching out to touch her cheek. Maddy flinched and that caused him to frown. She really was scared of him, and he caused her to be scared of him. He didn't know when it all started and why it did, but he didn't know if he could stop it. His aggression seemed to get worse as the days went by, and Maddy knew how to push his buttons. "I love you. You just say stupid shit like me being into guys when I'm not. I'm sorry... I love you. I've always loved you." He had no response to if he wanted to kill her, so he avoided the question. He didn't want to kill her, but how could he answer that? He didn't want to kill her, but she was right. He almost did. 

Sitting down next to her, he pulled her into his arms. "I don't want us to be broken up, Maddy. I love you. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Maddy hated that she admitted to him everything at prom, and he still managed to make her feel the need to stay. She was never going to be able to leave him, because she didn't know how to stay away from him. He called, and she came right back to him. She was strong, but when it came to leaving Nate, she felt weak. "You won't leave me, right?" Nate asked her.

Maddy hesitated but ultimately shook her head slowly and then looked up into his eyes. "No... I'm here."

"And you love me?" Nate asked her, but it sounded a little more like a statement than a question.

Maddy forced a smile and nodded. "Yeah, I love you. I'll always love you." It was true. No matter what he said, what he did - she'd love him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this. I will probably write more for them if I think of an idea. This couple is just tough for me to come up with ideas for, to be honest.


End file.
